The Husband of Her Dreams

Scripture Reading: 1 Peter 3:1-7

Christian women are looking and longing for husbands that are spiritual leaders. Authentic, godly men, submitted to the authority of Christ who know how to gently lead and inspire. Men that will take responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect her in appropriate ways. Not men who demand to be served, but men who have the strength to serve and sacrifice for her.

God calls husbands to be the spiritual leaders in the home (Ephesians 5:21-31), this is a sacred responsibility. However, being the spiritual leader does not mean that we must initiate and decide everything. God also calls husbands to be in partnership with their wife. 1 Peter 3:7 says, “she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life”. Husbands and wives together have a unique and mutual responsibility to foster the spiritual life within their home.

In the marriage partnership, a husband and wife work together to achieve a common purpose, each having different, but complementary roles. The Bible teaches that God created men and women equal in dignity and personhood but different and complimentary in function. In the home, men are to lovingly and sacrificially lead their family.

The key to a successful Christian marriage is much more than physical chemistry. It is a deep love for God, deep love for each other, and a mutual commitment to the unity of the marriage partnership. This is God’s design for marriage and family. 1 Peter 3:7 gives us men some practical advice on how to demonstrate our commitment to the unity of the marriage.

“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives”. To honor your wife is be faithful to her, to never humiliate her, to respect her, to make her a priority, to guard her integrity, to ask her what she needs, to pray with her, to value her differences, to spend time together, and to make goals together. Will you honor your wife? Will you show her love in tangible ways?

“Treat your wife with understanding as you live together”. It doesn’t say that you have to understand her, it says, you must treat her as if you understand her. To treat her with understanding means that we take time to listen, we pay close attention to her words. We become a student of her dreams, desires, needs, strengths and weaknesses. We also take time to learn from others experiences in marriage, by reading books, or attending marriage conferences together, something my wife and I have tried to do regularly. Do you treat your wife with understanding?

“Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” God’s design for marriage is not something to be taken lightly. He created us, His plan is best for us, and He expects us to follow it. He wants us to experience the deep joy and satisfaction of a marriage committed to unity, honor and understanding.

- DJS

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